A call to all my past resignations or why women should throw each another a bone.

April 17th 2014

I strategically spotted the open booth still un-bussed from the previous set of tea drinkers...a moment to read the Willamette weekly while my bombastic 2 and half year old could play in the play area and be happily distracted while I caught up on snarky articles. I needed to transport our smoothie, and my kombucha....I managed...went to put the water class from the prior custys back in the bus tub, which they themselves should have done, but as I placed the glass into the lower bus tub God forbid...it drops and breaks, a J. Crew Khaki clad Granola-turned Yupptard, type A shouts "Easy! There are kids here!" as if I could control a bout of distracted mom clumsiness and already being embarrassed, further embarrassing me not to mention interrupting others with her anti-glass shard manifesto. I waved over the counter guy who awesomely presented the bottled smoothie I had purchased earlier like a vintage Bordeaux, he swept it up, Yupptard McGee (not her real name) hollers down at him as if he is a servant and promptly goes off on a tyraid of how dangerous it is to break glasses with children present. I looked at her and said "It was an accident, we mortals have those sometimes", realizing perhaps that I had noticed her and she felt the need to further the overreaction she walked over to me and said "I was just taking about what would happen when things like this would happen when I used to work at restaurants", I shot her a direct look and said "Mother to mother, maybe you should be less judgmental, I wasn't trying to feed your kid glass". Then using my hand made a shuffle along motion to her, waving her away as she had done to the counter help, she was rendered speechless. It felt great, I hate to admit it, not as great as if we women could support one another and perhaps show kindness to each other, but pretty damn good. I had let a few of these "types" do this to me before (I hate to stereotype but we have an over abundance of these in the NE),I had a mom chew me out over email for sending her daughter an email for my daughters birthday to her work email (the one she chose to have published in the school directory), I had another accuse my daughter of making it so her daughter wouldn't go to ballet because Ava had said there was a "scary guy" at her lesson, which there was a dude trippin out on acid in a trench coat talking in a "Redrum" voice after ballet one day and Ava was just relating her experience. Ugh, we are all in the same boat, I really thought I would never face worse "judgey" folk then in Utah, but unfortunately it's a human condition not a state ordained one. Nearly losing my Dad in February has made me think about life differently, we fail to live in moment, instead waiting for tomorrow or longing for yesterday, we nit pick each other trying to differentiate or make ourselves "different" then one another, when really we are all the same. We all love our kids and want them to do well, as mothers it's hard to remember our own personal identities, we all feel isolated and lonely sometimes....why not just try to relate? Try to be kind in a world that isn't? We all don't have to be best friends, or friends at all, but if you see another mom maybe give them a thumbs up, maybe a smile.....women are amazing, talented, strong! If we all could band together and treat each other like we would like to be treated we could change the status quo for the better. Maybe just maybe we could reach our full human potential by being humane to each other. It's easy to be mean and jaded, it enlightening to have faith in the human race, and love for others. From now on I am going to go out of my way to appreciate other women and to try to pay it forward.